Admiring the judgments
Of upright and fortunate men.

Bob: I am the ghost of Dada past! Drew was the only who could see who I used to be, and he acted like I hadn't even died: "Hey man! You got your horns here? Then why don't you come and jam when you pass through Denton on the way to Nebraska?" We used to laugh about those lobby lizards sittin' around Bruce Hall talkin' about music!

Nancy: We were awakened by a phone call the next morning that was for Bob's parents. It was something about real estate, lawyers, and taxes. I'm glad the phone got us up before Bob's parents came in. Bob's dad had to go to work pretty early but was back before eleven. He really misses Bob. He took Bob out alone to get some points for the van while Bob's mom showed me some interesting clippings she's saved from fashion magazines. Bob told me that he and his dad talk about the seismic business. Bob's dad is trying everything he can to get us back living in Dallas.

When Bob and his dad got back we were left alone again. Bob's parents had to go to McKinney to see a lawyer. Bob and I had sex, took a long nap, and then slowly got ourselves ready to go to Ric's wedding. I had decided to wear black. That used to be traditional during Victorian times. However, my outfit wasn't very Victorian. I wore a mostly black halter dress over a black mesh t-shirt over a black bra and panties. Bob brought a few things that could be wedding clothes including his graduation gown from St. John's and thought that the bride and bridegroom should choose. Both Ric and Wanda were wearing gorgeous white clothes that had been custom made for them at Scarborough Fair. They also wore some beautiful beads. They picked out a white Indian shirt with blue embroidery that I had bought for Bob at a thrift store. He also wore some beads.

I envied them for their wonderfully spacious house. Ric's antiques, which were once crammed in a little space (like Bob's were in Dallas), fit quite nicely in their mansion while still leaving room for other things including my wedding present to them. It was a piece I made called "Desert Experience." It is made out of brown papier mache and sticks containing hanging tea-stained sacks. The sacks had in them seeds, glass, etc. that I collected, while we camped out in Tesuque all summer two years ago. The back of the papier mache structure looks something like two large breasts. According to Bob, Ric likes and collects feminine icons. Ric put the gift in a prominent place under a light with the "breasts" showing and the sacks rather hidden. It was interesting to me that he chose the same way of displaying the piece as did one of my teachers for the student art show at the College of Santa Fe. He was also a man.

Bob has such nice friends, although I can't say that I felt completely at home with them. I'd being seeing Papa tomorrow. I was starting to feel very Italian and, therefore, just a little different than the others. Most of the weddings I've been to have been Italian and have had lots of vino. Sometimes fights would break out. There was a lot of wine here too and, once I started drinking, I couldn't stop. Bob somehow managed to nurse down two glasses of wine, probably one more than he would have because he had to have another glass in order to lead a toast that was part of the ceremony. Also, Amy, the girlfriend of another of Bob's ex's ex's (I sometimes have problems keeping track of this incestuous community) brought out what she called "green juice" like it was some kind of ritual drink that everyone knew about. We all had shots of this sort of lime-flavored vodka. I had two.

The wedding ceremony was touching and beautiful. Bob read his service with so much spirit and affection that I cried a little. Afterwards both the bride and groom read poetry they had written for the occasion. Ric read one poem about the wolf in himself and caused all of us to howl with him. I had been a little worried about Ric marrying Wanda ( he's always been such a confirmed bachelor and I knew very little about Wanda) but their words dampened my doubts and clearly showed that each of them knew exactly what they were getting into.

After the ceremony, Bob got out his equipment and improvised with his former poetry/music ensemble, Dancing Tongue. I danced with all my energy for a short while and then ran to the pool. It was dark and only the children were swimming, so I thought it was ok to strip down to my underwear and swim. While I was undressing, fire ants bit me on my toes and legs.

I kept drinking and had long visits with one of Bob's dearest friends, Jim Estes, and Barry, who no one seemed to know very well. There were mostly men at the wedding.

It was after 2:00 am when we got back to the condominium. Bob's parents were there asleep. We slept on the hide-a-bed. Bob was getting so hard watching me undress and seeing me a little drunk, but I felt too uncomfortable to have sex there with Bob while his parents were in the next room.

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