Conscious Mind vs. Unconscious


The Mind makes war against the Secret
Which can explain both Yin and Yang.

My conscious mind seems to prefer to take its perceptions (particularly those of the senses) to be "real." It must guide my behavior as if its perceptions through the senses, juxtaposed against the memories of prior sensations, are real. My environment gives me positive and negative feedback about which behaviors are appropriate. My perceptions help me find the best ways to get the most positive feedback (as subjectively interpreted by me) from my environment.

As I implied earlier, my perception of my environment is ultimately projected from within. Some behaviors may cause positive thoughts or feelings to arise from within myself that may have a greater influence on me than those that seem to come from outside of myself. I enjoy a balance of influences: those that seem to come from within and those that seem to come from without. If I were influenced solely by what I perceived to be outside influences (or stimuli), I fear that I would be "soul-less"; a being without a sense of inner identity, meaning or purpose. I would be obsessed with material, physical pleasures and my happiness would depend entirely on events that seem beyond my control. If I were were dependent only on influences that seem to come from within, I would have never learned to talk and see myself as part of a larger society of beings. I would be lost in the darkness of my own autism.

This work may make me seem over-balanced toward autism because it contrasts most other written works which pretend to be "objective." The idea of objectivity implies an assumption of an agreed upon reality. One of the reasons I cannot believe in any objective reality is that we cannot "get into the heads" of others and know their realities. Therefore, my work does not pretend to be objective.

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